myLOVE: first day of school 2009

For the past week or so I have been experiencing what can only be likened to panic attacks regarding today. I would seriously wake myself up, freaking out (emotionally) about these milestones, alternating between OH MY GOD IN THREE YEARS WIL IS GONE and OH MY GOD SEREJANE IS NEVER GOING TO BE A PRESCHOOLER AGAIN. The fact that Kaelan hit junior high, possibly the filthiest stretch of school anyone ever has to endure, was kind of like the salt on the other two wounds. (There's a reason people say something is 'so jr. high' like it's a bad thing.) Regardless, I am again thanking my lucky stars that Mads wasn't hitting some monumental school division transition too or I'd have been institutionalized for sure.

Leading up to this point, of course, has been emotional to say the least. I've been bursting into tears sporadically, something like a mixture of pride and sadness, and this morning what I had been dreading came to pass... One went off on the bus, one went off on his bike, and the other, dudded up in her new hoodie and un-scuffed Mary Janes with a backpack full of snacks and Kleenex, held my and Bill's hands as we walked her to her first day at the big girl after school care and the big girl school.

I personally start my class for the Fall Semester tomorrow night - Spanish for the Second-Language Challenged. (I swear, that's what it says in the course description AND on the textbook, just maybe in slightly different words...) I'm very excited about it but also sad - Kaelan was supposed to be taking Spanish along with me but his school cancelled it due to lack of interest. Bah. I would have thought by now that Dora and Diego had brainwashed the younger generation into demanding it, but considering how much most older children mock the irritating program I guess I ought not be surprised it wasn't met with more enthusiasm... Oh, well - in a couple of year's time he can take it in high school and by then I should hopefully know enough that I can actually help him instead of fumble along beside him.

We got all the kids packed up last night, ready for this day - one going to Kindergarten, one to junior high, and one to high school - and I prayed with all my might that their first days in their respective new schools would be fruitful and pleasant. Everybody made a new friend, nobody got beat up or had anything stolen, and everyone made it home alive with a smile on their face, eager for Day 2. By whatever measures, I guess it was a successful day.

I count my blessings that our children are all doing so well. But it still sucks sending your babies off to school - it's these indelible and undeniable markers that rub our faces in the fact that our children are growing up. They remind us to hold tight to them as long as they can before they dash off in their eye-rolling fashions to listen to eye-rolling music and hang out with their eye-rolling friends.