myLOVE: celebrating 5 years

Grab a hanky - today is Serejane's birthday. She is 5. Of course, the Garden Tea Party isn't until this weekend and I don't have any of the oldies but goodies handy, but I promise I'll put together a little montage in the next few days lol.

I can't celebrate any of the kids' accomplishment without a part of my heart crushing a little bit, that weird bittersweet mixture of pride and pain that is watching your babies grow up. On Tuesday night Serejane rode on two wheels for the first time; I remember like it was yesterday her standing in our kitchen, red Robeez on her feet, big grin on her face, teetering as she stood on two legs for the first time at the ripe old age of 9 months - just days later she was walking. I have no delusions about why I felt compelled to get a dog.


I think, on some very deep level, I needed my little girl to smooth out the rough edges I had after my divorce - someone to sew frilly pink things for and stop being so bloody hard. Our children needed her - she is the biological glue that puts the garnish on our crazy blended family. And my Daddy needed her, too - he needed a chance to hold a baby girl of his own flesh and blood without being a drunk. He said so, a few weeks before he died.


Despite the fact they know they are the centre of the Universe, I doubt any 5-year old on the planet can really fathom the profound impact their short time on earth has had on the people around them. I'm looking forward to an evening spent eating mushroom soup and grilled cheesers (the birthday girl's supper request) then maybe going to the library for some special bedtime birthday books. Then hugging and kissing and tucking in all my babies before they aren't there to hug and kiss and tuck in.


Happy birthday, my littlest cupcake. You are very loved.



muchLOVE,

Mama