debriefing the "I am" exercises

You know, I get sidetracked and busy and read everyone's blog and then forget about posting on my own...  better late than never, of course...

The point of the "I am" exercise was quite simple - to start looking inside for whatever it is that drives you to pick up your camera and take pictures.  Knowing HOW to work your camera is the first step.  After that it comes down to you and the relationship you have with whatever is on the other side of your lens.  

There will come times in your photography travels where you feel lackadaisical, uninspired, confused, frustrated, and even depressed.  In my experience and that of many others I've talked o, it is very easy to allow yourself to be completely consumed by photography, so consumed, in fact, you can't remember why you bother.  The first time this happens it's very easy to feel disillusioned.  The crappy part is, it is just as disillusioning every time you come up against that wall.

Art is an eternal journey, a never-ending process of discovery and exploration.  Look at the history of any creative art form and you will see it isn't static - it changes, grows, expands, contracts... evolves...  from music to sculpture and painting to photography, dance, weaving, fashion - these things are all heavily affected by trends and technology, but are most profoundly impacted by the person making the art.  It's as impossible to not feel how deeply misunderstood and confused Vincent van Gogh was as it is to miss the sense of daring and power with which Gaultier approached designing Madonna's infamous Blonde Ambition tour costumes.

Whenever you hit that wall (and I promise, you will hit it) a good place to go is back to the "I am" exercise.  Every time you do it, the answers should change.  If they haven't, you are in a rut.  If they have changed so much you don't recognize yourself anymore then you know you need to find your path again.  And if you just plain don't like your answers, then you know you are on the wrong track and need to shift gears.

So what about the music?  Well, songs are powerful reminders.  I am sure you can all remember the song you danced a special dance to and know exactly which of your favourite Christmas Carols gets you in the mood every time.  My best friend Tannis and I always pick a song for the season.  Over the years we have always identified songs for our lives, and when we acknowledge the place these songs have in our lives, where we're at emotionally, physicaly, spiritually, romantically, financially - we have an ongoing soundtrack to remind of of where we were at at that point in our lives.  We've exchanged these soundtracks on several occasions over the years, on cassette tapes right through to CDs and MP3s.  If you feel like you've lost your way, throw on the piece of music that you felt connected to and just see what happens.  There's no right or wrong way to feel about the music - you may be moved to tears, to dancing, or to boredom - and those are all completely valid reactions.  Understanding your reactions is the key to breaking through the walls.

Your work can and will and SHOULD change over time.  This doesn't mean it will be better or worse - just different.  My images all have a very important element in them: me.  And there have been times in my life when I've noticed a marked difference in my pictures - growth, experimentation, regression -  because of what was going on in my personal life.  When my daughter was born, when my father died, and when I came back from RD all mark important transitions in my life, and if my pictures looked exactly the same now as they did then, I would say I was in a rut.

And, a quick word of caution about stalking blogs.  It's great to look at other photog blogs, but you need to remember that no matter how much you admire their style, you probably cannot replicate their work.  Nor is that something you should aspire to - even if you are able to pull off perfect Geddes-esque baby portraits, how fulfilling is it?  Aspire to be YOU and you will never go wrong.  

This may all sound a bit hippy-touchy-feely, but sock it away for a rainy day.  When you get derailed or stuck, remember who you are, and balance will be restored.