can of worms: bloodsuckers

Oh, it's been a LONG time since we opened a can of worms here! I was going to call this post bloodsuckerLOVE but figured that might weird people out a bit. Love+hearts+blood - it's all related, isn't it? I digress.

Today I was pondering things that suck my will to live (don't ask - I try and not venture into the scary dark corners of my brain but every once in a while my mind wanders...) and I decided there are four categories of bloodsuckers.

Mosquitoes. These are the annoying people who always try and get a little something here, a little something there. They are easy enough to swat away (or squish) but there can be a LOT of them buzzing around at the same time, and they are seriously annoying. Luckily, they are seasonal, and never hang around for long.

Leeches. Leeches are relatively painless. You usually don't notice when they've managed to attach themselves, and with a little salt you can rid yourself of them. You don't really feel like you've lost anything even if you don't know about it until after the fact, but you feel squeamish and icky about it anyways.

Lampreys. These bastards cling on for dear live and will literally bleed you to death. They don't know that if they keep sucking they are going to kill you and leave themselves out of a lunch ticket. If they figure they've gotten everything they can, they go off in search of fresh prey but not without leaving you feeling like a shell of your former self.

Vampires. As vicious as lampreys are, at least they are self-defeating. Vampires, on the other hand, not only want to suck your blood, but want you to ~join~ them. If they get their fangs into you, eventually you start becoming like them. Even if it's the last thing on earth you want to do.

I've had my fair share of all of the above in my life. Here's the question, though - when you realize that you've attracted a certain species of bloodsucker, how do YOU handle the situation? What if the bloodsucker is a family member? A job? Your best friend? Do share... I have a certain vampire in the vicinity and the garlic isn't working anymore...

EDITED TO ADD: If you're reading this blog, I promise I am NOT referring to you. This person is an IRL person who's decided my work email (great tomes of whining and snivelling and fishing for sympathy) is GREAT. She doesn't visit forums or blogs and refuses to go on Facebook. Ever.