head in the sand
Three diffrent individuals have noe directly or indirectly spoken out about the social injustice I'm committing by not naming Popular Boy's name and bringing this person out for public scrutiny and maybe a law suit with a big fat cash settlement. Huh? Let me reiterate: this is about ME, and not HIM. I am not "putting my head in the sand" nor am I "protecting a monster." I am not on a witch hunt nor in search of vindication. We were both stupid kids, and neither one of us handled the matter with any kind of maturity. He was a jerk, but he didn't rape me - he slipped me the tongue and made a grab for my girly parts. The fact he touched me inappropriately isn't what upsets me anyways - it's what he told everyone afterwards that has left the emotional scars.
I didn't bother trying to defend my honour back then because I figured no one would believe me anyways. Were I to name a name, and were I to pursue damages, we'd be reliving the exact he-said, she-said episode I chose to avoid back then. Besides, I wouldn't want money, and I don't think the courts would allow me to sue for a public admission of lying and a heartfelt apology. I chose to use the words 'sexually molested' because if any of my children are even in a simliar situation, whether the toucher or the touchee, I'd like them to know the correct name for it, and not be stupid enough to write it off as silly kid stuff and have it rattling around in their heads for a couple of decades.
So - to my well-meaning Drama Queen friends, please, return to your seats and just enjoy the dancing skeleton show, OK?
I didn't bother trying to defend my honour back then because I figured no one would believe me anyways. Were I to name a name, and were I to pursue damages, we'd be reliving the exact he-said, she-said episode I chose to avoid back then. Besides, I wouldn't want money, and I don't think the courts would allow me to sue for a public admission of lying and a heartfelt apology. I chose to use the words 'sexually molested' because if any of my children are even in a simliar situation, whether the toucher or the touchee, I'd like them to know the correct name for it, and not be stupid enough to write it off as silly kid stuff and have it rattling around in their heads for a couple of decades.
So - to my well-meaning Drama Queen friends, please, return to your seats and just enjoy the dancing skeleton show, OK?
Comments
You have the right to be in charge of your body and the things you do with it or let happen to it.
You have the right to FEEL the way you do.
You have the right to THINK the way you do.
You even have the right to SAY things, in your own words, what they are.
It's about YOU. Im reading that, loud and clear. And loving every bit of it.
Thank you for sharing, and also keeping us updated on the mixed reactions from both sides of the pendulum. It's all part of the story, and part of the healing/learning. To know when to say yes, I accept that, and to know when to say no, I don't. Clearly we all still have to keep doing it, it's our right. ;)
One skeleton has left the building.