"How should one go about finding their passion?"
Cathy asks: " How should one go about finding their passion?"
For the purpose of this reply, I am going to make a couple of assumptions. The first assumption is that as this was asked under the Life, In General section, y'all can get your dirty little minds out of the gutter -- Cathy has 6 kids and I don't think that's what she's referring to... The second assumption is the specific context of 'passion' being that one thing that you get up in the morning for because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to. (By the way, the latter includes children - let's all be honest, there are days when we get up and pour a bowl of Cheerios for our kids because we have to not because we feel like it's our calling in life.)
Passion is a curious thing. I have found over the years that passions have come and gone. One minute I'm passionate about this, the next about that, and I try and indulge that passion as much as possible, like trying on shoes or test-driving a car. This has been a pattern for me since childhood, and has included everything from gymnastics to classical flute to painting to writing to travel to, most recently, photography. I don't know that I sought passions out, but rather, had a hankering to try them on for size and found they fit well enough for me to invest some time and energy and even some money. I'm very passionate about convalescent geriatric health care, mentoring, and the environment, too, but when I think about getting up every day and being a nurse or personal coach or activist, the feeling dissipates, so I know it's an interest, not a calling. I suppose my ideal career would be traveling and helping people all around the world and writing stories about the pictures I've taken.
Coming from that perspective, my dirty little secret is that I have honed my ability to not only hear but TRUST my intuition. It has sometimes gotten me a reputation for being impulsive, but no matter how odd the sway, it somehow always works out for me. I imagine someone has said it more eloquently, but I've always summed it up as, the heart is fickle and easily swayed, while the brain is clever enough to trick you into believing what you want to believe. If you ignore both your heart and your head, and listen to that nagging voice inside, THAT is your guts talking.
I know Cathy a bit, and so I'm going to go one step further and examine the impact children have on finding and/or following your passion. As a parent, I am intimately acquainted with how demanding children and a family are, and how easily distracted from taking care of ourselves we become. I am also acutely aware of that pining for something that is devoted to no one else but the almighty "we" in a way that's so utterly hedonistic, so completely selfish and self-serving, that we suffer blinding guilt for it. If your guts are saying, "Go be a closet organizer," then you should go be a closet organizer. If your guts are saying, "Nope. Closet organizer isn't it," then in order to be true to yourself, you must keep searching. Indulge in your hankerings, and if something really speaks to you, it's probably time to invest. I know Oprah says the ideal of success is getting paid to do something you love, but even if you have to do it for free, at least know that you love doing it. That kind of deeply personal fulfillment has nothing to do with commercial success.
I don't know if that is how Cathy is feeling, but I imagine any one of us, male or female, who has a family, regardless of how much we love our children and our spouses, often feels like we are lacking in 'me' time. I wish I had some sage piece of advice, but really, all I can say is remember to be at least a little bit selfish from time to time, and when something sings to you, sing back. Realistically, as a parent, I can't very well just run off and indulge my fantasies. I made the choice and commitment to be a wife and mother and that will come first until I'm confident my children have been successfully launched. In the meantime, blogging has been an amazing outlet for me to indulge my affection for writing, taking on clients has afforded me the luxury of enjoying photography as a hobby that pays for itself, and helping other people with the shutter-bug get set up with equipment to experiment and learn about photography has scratched the mentoring itch. Besides getting a paycheque to go do this in Belize, what more could a girl ask for?
For the purpose of this reply, I am going to make a couple of assumptions. The first assumption is that as this was asked under the Life, In General section, y'all can get your dirty little minds out of the gutter -- Cathy has 6 kids and I don't think that's what she's referring to... The second assumption is the specific context of 'passion' being that one thing that you get up in the morning for because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to. (By the way, the latter includes children - let's all be honest, there are days when we get up and pour a bowl of Cheerios for our kids because we have to not because we feel like it's our calling in life.)
Passion is a curious thing. I have found over the years that passions have come and gone. One minute I'm passionate about this, the next about that, and I try and indulge that passion as much as possible, like trying on shoes or test-driving a car. This has been a pattern for me since childhood, and has included everything from gymnastics to classical flute to painting to writing to travel to, most recently, photography. I don't know that I sought passions out, but rather, had a hankering to try them on for size and found they fit well enough for me to invest some time and energy and even some money. I'm very passionate about convalescent geriatric health care, mentoring, and the environment, too, but when I think about getting up every day and being a nurse or personal coach or activist, the feeling dissipates, so I know it's an interest, not a calling. I suppose my ideal career would be traveling and helping people all around the world and writing stories about the pictures I've taken.
Coming from that perspective, my dirty little secret is that I have honed my ability to not only hear but TRUST my intuition. It has sometimes gotten me a reputation for being impulsive, but no matter how odd the sway, it somehow always works out for me. I imagine someone has said it more eloquently, but I've always summed it up as, the heart is fickle and easily swayed, while the brain is clever enough to trick you into believing what you want to believe. If you ignore both your heart and your head, and listen to that nagging voice inside, THAT is your guts talking.
I know Cathy a bit, and so I'm going to go one step further and examine the impact children have on finding and/or following your passion. As a parent, I am intimately acquainted with how demanding children and a family are, and how easily distracted from taking care of ourselves we become. I am also acutely aware of that pining for something that is devoted to no one else but the almighty "we" in a way that's so utterly hedonistic, so completely selfish and self-serving, that we suffer blinding guilt for it. If your guts are saying, "Go be a closet organizer," then you should go be a closet organizer. If your guts are saying, "Nope. Closet organizer isn't it," then in order to be true to yourself, you must keep searching. Indulge in your hankerings, and if something really speaks to you, it's probably time to invest. I know Oprah says the ideal of success is getting paid to do something you love, but even if you have to do it for free, at least know that you love doing it. That kind of deeply personal fulfillment has nothing to do with commercial success.
I don't know if that is how Cathy is feeling, but I imagine any one of us, male or female, who has a family, regardless of how much we love our children and our spouses, often feels like we are lacking in 'me' time. I wish I had some sage piece of advice, but really, all I can say is remember to be at least a little bit selfish from time to time, and when something sings to you, sing back. Realistically, as a parent, I can't very well just run off and indulge my fantasies. I made the choice and commitment to be a wife and mother and that will come first until I'm confident my children have been successfully launched. In the meantime, blogging has been an amazing outlet for me to indulge my affection for writing, taking on clients has afforded me the luxury of enjoying photography as a hobby that pays for itself, and helping other people with the shutter-bug get set up with equipment to experiment and learn about photography has scratched the mentoring itch. Besides getting a paycheque to go do this in Belize, what more could a girl ask for?
Comments
Listening to your heart and brain but following your gut, is brilliant. I've spent my whole life listening to others and now I can't find my own identity. I know it's around here somewhere.