can of worms: bloodsuckers

Oh, it's been a LONG time since we opened a can of worms here! I was going to call this post bloodsuckerLOVE but figured that might weird people out a bit. Love+hearts+blood - it's all related, isn't it? I digress.

Today I was pondering things that suck my will to live (don't ask - I try and not venture into the scary dark corners of my brain but every once in a while my mind wanders...) and I decided there are four categories of bloodsuckers.

Mosquitoes. These are the annoying people who always try and get a little something here, a little something there. They are easy enough to swat away (or squish) but there can be a LOT of them buzzing around at the same time, and they are seriously annoying. Luckily, they are seasonal, and never hang around for long.

Leeches. Leeches are relatively painless. You usually don't notice when they've managed to attach themselves, and with a little salt you can rid yourself of them. You don't really feel like you've lost anything even if you don't know about it until after the fact, but you feel squeamish and icky about it anyways.

Lampreys. These bastards cling on for dear live and will literally bleed you to death. They don't know that if they keep sucking they are going to kill you and leave themselves out of a lunch ticket. If they figure they've gotten everything they can, they go off in search of fresh prey but not without leaving you feeling like a shell of your former self.

Vampires. As vicious as lampreys are, at least they are self-defeating. Vampires, on the other hand, not only want to suck your blood, but want you to ~join~ them. If they get their fangs into you, eventually you start becoming like them. Even if it's the last thing on earth you want to do.

I've had my fair share of all of the above in my life. Here's the question, though - when you realize that you've attracted a certain species of bloodsucker, how do YOU handle the situation? What if the bloodsucker is a family member? A job? Your best friend? Do share... I have a certain vampire in the vicinity and the garlic isn't working anymore...
EDITED TO ADD: If you're reading this blog, I promise I am NOT referring to you. This person is an IRL person who's decided my work email (great tomes of whining and snivelling and fishing for sympathy) is GREAT. She doesn't visit forums or blogs and refuses to go on Facebook. Ever.


I love your sense of wording !!

You rock !

The only way I get rid of the latter few mentioned is to be blunt and let them have it .

Some people just need to be blasted.

It comes with some risk and with some tact it can be done.
Hope Walls said…
OK - seriously - this woman, I'll call her the 'Vampire Queen' is NEGATIVE. Nothing positive EVER happens in her life, if something good happens it's only good because it was better than the BAD BAD BAD that is her life. She whines, complains, and rains on everyone's parade, all day, every day. You can't have a conversation with her without feeling owly and grumpy afterwards, and she's infected other people already, and I'm ready to SNAP. I deal with this person on an almost daily basis - I have no idea how to use 'tact' when what I want to do is drive a stake through her shrivelled little black depressing heart, and eat it some fava beans, and a nice Chianti... ffh ffh ffh ffh ffh
kate said…
Are you calling me a vampire? Didn't you think I would eventually read your post?

kidding {i hope}


I'll post a real answer later when I don't have my little "mosquitoes" asking for after-school snacks.

kidding about kids = mosq. {sort of}
fmartell2 said…
We had someone like that in our life, Frank called him the Soul Vampire. He just sucked out any joy that was in the room.
After many YEARS of Frank putting up with this so called friend, the vampire started blaming Frank for his problems as well. I think he just ran out of people to blame. After that Frank refused to call him anymore, and hasn't spoke to him since.
I guess that doesn't help on HOW to get rid of your vampire, but I can relate.
If you can't find any way to not be around her, then maybe enough of the cold shoulder will keep her at bay.
Hope Walls said…
I'm trying to put the VQ on 'ignore' right now. Thank the Powers That Be, this woman does not have my phone number... lol
Hope Walls said…
(Kate - you're like the anti-vampire. If vampires were vacuums suck the life out of you and make you cranky, you're like the vacuum set on blow that fill you up with joy and happiness.)
Allyson said…
I'm feeling your pain about VQ. I too used to have one where I worked in my early life. I was fortunate enough that one of us had our jobs recreated (I think it was mine) and I got to ignore her and avoided at all costs walking by her coffin! I wish you the same good luck. xx
kate said…
"like the vacuum set on blow that fills you up with joy and happiness"

I'd like that on my grave. lol
Hope Walls said…
I'll be sure and drop Hal an email when the time comes, Kate. I imagine you'll get more visitors than anyone. lol
I did some homework for you, what do you think ?
Hope Walls said…
Those are great articles, Tammy. I'm still going to try the 'ignore' mode. Maybe the VQ will downgrade herself to a lamprey and give up on me lol
Hope Walls said…
Those are great articles, Tammy. I'm still going to try the 'ignore' mode. Maybe the VQ will downgrade herself to a lamprey and give up on me lol
Niki said…
Hmm, I wonder where us professional bloodsuckers fit into the hierarchy. *teehee*
Hope Walls said…
Oh, needle-pokers up in there with all the other masochists like, I dunno... dentists...


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